"For God so loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” -John 3:16
Does anyone miss their elementary school days like I do? It was in those precious years that my one main goal was to play with my friends as much as I could. Learning was important of course, but recess was the highlight of my school days.
Playing with my friends was the ultimate for me. It was characterized by the years when I was short enough to actually fit on the jungle gym—before I grew to 5’10” in high school.
Days when I could twirl around the gymnastic beam with ease and make it lightning fast across the monkey bars without blistered hands and pulled muscles in my shoulders. (Yes, I did just try tackling monkey bars this past month and both of those things occurred.)
In elementary school, I had one best friend who would play with me every day on the jungle gym at recess. We walked to and from school in the wind, ice, rain and snow, uphill both ways to school and home. She loved God like I did and was a gift from God to me in that season.
One day at recess my friend and I decided we were going to ask a group of girls if we could be their friends. We really wanted to be a part of their cool group.
You see they were the “popular” girls who ruled the roost in fifth grade. So I scraped up
enough courage and decided to talk to them.
I can remember the day as if it were yesterday.
I was longing for deeper friendships on the inside and I wanted to be an amazing friend. I would try hard and love well.
When we finally got up enough nerve to ask the girls if we could be their friends, they calmly said they had to discuss it with each other before they made a decision. Didn’t they realize the gravity of this situation for me? They would give us an answer in the morning, which seemed like an eternity.
My heart waited in bated anticipation. I could barely sleep that night. I tossed and turned, imagining that I may actually have a group of girls to play with where I felt like I belonged.
Tomorrow could be the day where everything in my world changed.
The stars would align and the universe would beam down on me with favor, or at least I hoped that would happen.
We tentatively made our way to school the next morning awaiting their answer. I’ll never forget the girl who came and told me that they had discussed my proposal and decided that I couldn’t be their friend.
To make matters worse, they decided to accept my friend, and not me! They invited her to come play with them, leaving me all alone.
So I was left in solitude with my shame, embarrassment, a frizzy fake perm, zebra stirrup leggings and the feeling that I wasn’t enough.
A part of my heart broke that day and I wondered if stepping out with others was actually worth the risk of disappointment.
To my best friend’s credit, she decided she didn’t want to be a part of their group if I wasn’t there. We continued to be thick as thieves throughout all of high school. It was a blessing in disguise. Little did I know that God was protecting me and setting me up for the greatest love and acceptance I could ever have known.
When I experienced the love of God at age fourteen, my life was never the same. Before that
encounter, all I wanted, all I lived for, was the approval of others. It was my number one desire. In my grades, in sports, in friendships and with family, I needed approval. Perhaps I was simply looking for belonging and for people to accept and love me. I can remember
heading into summer camp telling God that I was going to have a singular focus on Him this time through.
The last year I went, I was infatuated with boys, so needless to say I spent most of my
time pursuing them. That year was different. If God was real and personal I wanted to know it. I’ll never forget the night I first encountered Him for as long as I live.
I can’t remember the message or much of anything else, I only remember that God spoke to me. He was so near.
I had heard His voice for the first time whispering to my soul, “Jamie, I love you just the way you are. No one is ever going to love you the way I do.”
My heart melted. In an instant, my life was changed. Funny how a moment with God can do that. Turns out, all I wanted was to be loved and God loved me just the way I was. With Him, nothing else mattered.
What others labeled as unlovable and awkward, God labeled as perfectly lovely. He knew what I needed. I finally had a place to belong, and it was the only place I wanted to be: with Him.
The love of God will always choose you. You are His number one pick.
Once we grasp a realization of how deep the Father’s love is for us, it only helps us cultivate a deeper love for others. And part of loving others well is knowing what they need.
God knew me so well, He knew exactly what I needed. God knows us all so well. He knew no matter how hard we tried, we would still fall short. In the end, we would need a Savior. Enter Jesus.
God saw our need, and He provided for that need. In addition to that, He is always searching out ways to meet our needs personally, so that we can intimately experience His love. Just like He knew what I needed as a teenager, He knows what you and I need in this season
of life.
In God’s explanation of His plan for redemption, He starts out by talking about love. True love is one of the most powerful aspects of God’s character. He tells us in scripture that all His commandments hang on the principles of loving God and loving others.
If we want to give our attention to what’s most important, our focus should undoubtedly be love.
So how do we do that, you might ask? First, accept and experience His love. Once you are overflowing with that awareness, you can pour out in a greater way to others. The Bible says to love your neighbor as you love yourself.
I heard a Joyce Meyers podcast where she said something along the lines of this: we miserably fail to love others because we’ve never learned to love ourselves.
Do you know that God loves you just the way you are? There is no one else in this world that is like you. You are His unique creation.
Until we learn to love the person God has created us to be, receiving His love without reservations or objections, we will never be able to love others well.
Secondly, when it comes to loving others, like God, find out what they need. Love them the way they need to be loved, not the way you want to love them, or even the way you receive love.
When’s the last time you went out of your way to show love to someone else? Love could look like a hot cup of tea with a friend, or a slice of your mom’s homemade banana bread around a table of meaningful conversation.
A friendly promised-filled text to a neighbor. A hot meal to a new mother. A beautifully wrapped package of cookies left on the doorstep of a friend. A warm hug on a cold day. Or
behind the scene prayer for that loved one.
"Let loving others not be something you do, but define who you are. Side note: remember, you cannot give what you have not received. Take time to receive the love of God today."
Photo Credit: Valeria Ushakova
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